My Best Friend

You hear the term all your life. “My Best Friend”

Little girls compete for the title (as if there is crown and sash) to be someone’s best friend.

Even big girls play the game….that can be ugly. (I don’t know if I notice it with boys or men.)

Some time ago I dropped the word “best” from my vocabulary when referring to my friends and I thought I would share about that. So, here it is. The reason for not having a BEST friend label:

It diminishes the value of your other friends.

So, with that being said, I am going to reinstate it into my vocabulary. The big announcement you have all been waiting for:

Who is my Best Friend?

drum roll please……

A friend for 15 years. Been through the good, the bad, the ugly. Shared or knows of my best moments, shared or knows of my worst moments. Has forgiven me for many things. Has loved me through it all. Laughed AT me through most of it. Doesn’t always understand me but always accepts me.

None other than:

David! My husband!

I feel good giving him that title. He deserves it. It does not diminish the value of my other friends. He won’t flaunt it or rub it in the faces of my other friends. He will wear it under his clothes like a secret identity. My own personal Superman (he is Super!), Batman (He would get a bat out of my hair if need be), Spiderman (he kills spiders for me on a regular basis)….Myman (you get the picture).

Now believe me, he had some tough competition. I am only listing here those people who were placed in my life without any blood or work connections. (Not that those people are not friends, but those relationships were easier to create.) These are the ones that I want to honor because I don’t think I let them know often enough how much they mean to me. Let me start in CHRONOLOGICAL order:

Lori – Met in 9th grade. Heart of gold, has actually been around LONGER than Dave. Has also shared a bed with me (don’t go there!). She was my only friend when I needed one, she hated me when we first met. She let me be me. She stuck. She laughed at my bike riding. She was there when I tried to be a rebel. She taught me that I could look cute. She brought out the adventurer in me. She remembers…sometimes too much. She may not know it all, but is willing to try most. Will do anything for anyone in need. Cracks me up. Is a survivor through and through. One tough cookie with a soft gooey center.

Paula – Met after I left high school…She too has a longer lifespan than Dave on the friends list. (she too has shared a bed with me….it’s a girl thing) She has been my friend, my roomy, my party gal, my other half (she actually dropped down on one knee in front of Azar’s and proposed to me once – ring and all – okay, it was a plastic “Big Boy” ring but it still counts…okay we were drunk and tired…so maybe not). She held my hair when I threw up from overdrinking. She taught me how to paint the town whatever color I wanted. She was my dance partner. My fellow “Illusionette” my fellow “Dream Weaver”. She helped me remain independent (I know that seems contradictive), and helped me raise my oldest child while I was still single. She is a woman who knows who she is and is not afraid of life. She doesn’t compromise who she is for what society says she should be. She can hold her own with a group of sailors but she is ALL WOMAN! She actually had alot to do with how I started dating my husband. She is always going to be there for me.

Jen – Met 7 or 8 years ago (time is foggy when you get older) She is actually an amazing addition. I met her through an old boyfriend who I remained good friends with. (They are now married). She showed me where my passions are. She raised my awareness of my abilities. She let me find out how much I love the things I love through experiencing them with her. She was my guinea pig. She is smart and fun and loving and thoughtful and kind. She is passionate. Did I mention PASSIONATE…about her husband, her kids, her life…She tries to give her all…maybe to a fault but she is learning. She is someone who I feel comfortable with in the matters of Faith. She shares openly. She loves immensly. She is another heart of gold…but she prefers platinum. Will do everything she can if asked. She recently helped me realize the disservice I do to my friends when I try to protect them from the bad things in my life by not allowing them to be there for me. Shame on me. She is my eye opener. I think I will call her VISINE.

I would also like to make special mention of a couple of interesting friendships:

Cher – I have not seen her since I left Florida in 1984. We lost touch when I was in high school but recently…this past January…I googled her (had tried several times over the past few years with no luck) and found a live email. So I took a chance in the hopes it was her and the opening line to her response was “Get out!”. So, we have spent alot of emails sharing life and it still clicks. It seems like – how did she put it – our friendship was just on pause. This connection means so much to me. I can not even put it’s value into words. I like what she is doing with her life. I feel like having this communication with her completes a circle. I am enjoying getting to know the adult she has become. In her minds eye I am still 13 years old and that is how I remember her as well. (I think it is neat to be locked in someone’s memory without the wrinkles, stretchmarks, or extra baggage)

Tracey – Another long distance friend. I have not seen her since she was in my wedding in 1995. We met when I lived in New Jersey (late 80’s) and it was like looking at me in a tiny little Italian girl’s body. She was my constant friend, one of the family from the second we met. We did some fun stuff together, and some stupid stuff together and if she still wore braces she would still be picking the bugs out of them to proove it! We may not talk much but I know that I can pick up the phone and we can pick up right where we left off without any of the “why haven’t you called me in X amount of time?” crap that some people lay on you. She is THERE. I am THERE for her. We know that about each other and are good with that.

So to all my friends. Thank you. Words can not express what you mean to me. You are all THE BEST. Each of you are so different from one another. (I find it fascinating that I have never had all of you in the same room together….would the building survive that much awesomeness in one space?!?!?) One of these days I would love to do a brunch to celebrate you all and the place that you have in my heart. Break out your calendars!

Love to my sisters!

Extra love to my Best Friend.

I am so blessed.

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Driving Miss Crazy

I love my time in the morning when it is just Breanna and I in the car driving her to school. The conversations should be recorded and maybe even YouTube’d.

Most of these conversations are utter silliness and are done while we are both laughing hysterically. It does not take much to set us off into hysterical laughter, but it is better than a cup of coffee for waking me up.

Last Thursday morning was one of those days. She headed to the car with a project board, and it is one of those that folds in three and so I ask to see it…and she denies me.

She DENIES me!

So I grab the back of her hoody and we battle on the way to the car.
She unlocks it, but I have the key fob…which means I have the power.
So I lock the doors.
She pretends to show me peeks of it, and finally she gives in.
Once we start driving, this is what follows that:

(Breanna quotes are in RED while mine are in GREEN)

“Why didn’t you want to show me?”
Which she blathers on about her artistic abilities and not liking to show her work to people, which I explain that I am not “people” and then the fun begins with her laughing and shouting:
“Help! Help! Rape!”
I thought I heard, and so I questioned “Help! Help! Hooray!?”
“No RAPE!”
” Help Help RAPE!”
” I said NO.”
” No means NO “
“RAPE! “
“How would ‘Help! Help! Hooray!’ get anyone’s attention?”
More silliness followed but it then led into:

“So, are you going to buy me coffee?”
I ponder and state “I have 4 cents in my checking account” while waving 4 fingers in her face.
“So, are you going to buy me coffee?”

“4 cents. (more finger waving) Which means I am broke. That is so little that they could not make it into one coin; they have to have 4 separate coins so you can see it.”
Then she stated something ‘off’ about a dime being smaller than 4 cents ….

“Hey remember that video I showed you of that weird group Lordi?”
“Yeah”
“Lordi is coming to Ozzfest!”
“We’re going to Ozzfest?!?!” (proof teenagers only hear what they want to hear)
“Nooooo, Lordi is going to BE there.”
“Hey who is that band that you used to listen to that wore the masks?”

“Dir En Gray?”
“No”
“Insane Clown Posse?”
“Maybe, I don’t know”
(Lots of discussion about her thinking it is one of those two and me doubting it)
She finally states “Slipknot!”
“YES! That’s it! Lordi looks like Slipknot mixed with Star Trek; one even reminds me of the Borg!”

Out of nowhere…literally, there had been a moment of silence and then she shouted:
[NOTE: THIS CONVERSATION HAS EDITED FOR CONTENT]
“Gummy Bear [EDITED]!”
“[EDITED]”
“[EDITED]”
“[EDITED]”
“[EDITED]”
” A gummy bear [EDITED]?”
“Yeah!”
Without any enthusiasm I could only respond with “Wow. It’s [EDITED] honey.”
Because of a lack of proper response coming to mind; though I find the thought of her confusing it with [EDITED] very amusing, I realized I needed to change the subject. I then led into the question about colors and flavors of gummy bears and how she and I both like the clear ones that taste like pineapple….

She switches gears and goes into her rendition of Carlos Mencia’s skit about Easter that goes something like: “Hide the eggs! And if anyone asks, eggs come from rabbits!”

We arrive at school, she gets out. I ask about her school ID, shout words of love while she unloads her school project and head to work with my head spinning.

Here are some links to help you “understand” our conversation (but really, you don’t HAVE to click on them. Consider yourself warned):

The Lordi Video
Dir En Gray
Insane Clown Posse
Slipknot
Ozzfest
Star Trek
The Borg
Gummy Bears
Carlos Mencia…Hide the Eggs! (this one is funny)

That was last Thursday. last Friday we bickered about whether or not I shake my leg when I am angry. I say no, she says yes. I say she is projecting her own attributes onto me.

So, just an ordinary morning with Breanna. How was your drive to work?

To be or not to be…

An Oasis Leader…

What are the odds of 5 girls wearing the same shoes on the same night without prior notice?

I really don’t have the answer. The above feet are Brittany, Jamie, Taylor, Emily, and Melissa. These are the 5 girls that I had the honor to lead last night at Granger Community Church’s middle school ministry, better known as OASIS.

I decided to kick the tires on this serving opportunity. I don’t know if it is where I am meant to serve, but because Paige has asked me to (she gets to attend this year) I am giving it a try.

My first impression…to be honest…indifferent. That is how I tend to be when I try new things the first time around. I enjoyed the group time with these girls, however because it was my first time I would have rather spent more time getting to know the girls. The agenda was already set and Oasis is wrapping up the school year and I was filling in for their regular leader…so I just stuck to the plan.

During the teaching time with Judy Gregory, I found myself watching how the kids were reacting to her more than I was paying attention to what she was saying. I believe I caught the central theme of it though. Raise the bar. How can you make the biggest impact with the resources you have at hand? Go the extra mile.

I guess I can look at it this way: Nothing that happened last night scared me out of coming back.