Driving Miss Crazy. Episode 3


Another episode…remember Breanna is in red, I am in green; for those of you behind in the episodes:
Pilot
Episode 2

-This episode takes place Thursday morning driving Breanna to school-
-Drive begins with an unusual long moment of silence-

I am exhausted
Me too
I have a stupid song in my head. Zazu (see above video) singing Lovely Bunch of Coconuts
Sorry, I sing that whenever I am bored….along with:
A monkey went to sea sea sea
To see what he could see see see
But all that he could see see see
Was the bottom of the deep blue sea sea sea
Poor monkey
You’d think he would have seen a boat or a fish or a bird
Or seaweed…
How could he see the BOTTOM of the deep blue sea sea sea?
I don’t know
Must not have been too far from shore
That would explain not seeing any fish
Why? He could have seen minnows
Minnows in the ocean!?! They live in salt water!?!
They are just baby fish
They are?!?!
-This is where I TRY to stifle my laugh-
-Breanna is at this point speaking rather loudly and acting as if I just confessed to a hidden family secret-

I thought they were a species…a BREED! (said with lots of righteous idignation in her voice)
-I lose my stifle ablility and roars of laughter escape me-

You poor thing, I guess it never really did come up did it?
-Breanna has a look of outrage on her face-
Noooooo! When I was little you just told me to go catch “minnows” when we were at the lake, nothing about them being baby fish!
-me: still laughing-

This is where she gets out of the vehicle, I profess my love for her and wish her a fabulous day and she closes the door and starts shaking her head and spouting gibberish as she waves good-bye and walks toward the school.

Not sure what was crazier, the fact that we were analyzing that silly song or the whole not knowing that minnows were baby fish. God, I love being the mom of a teenager!

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My new nemesis

So, it begins…

Paige had been the only person at her school bus stop for some time. This year there is a new girl, Alexis. She is a year behind Paige in school and at least a head shorter than Paige.

The first day, once the girls got on the bus, as I was walking back toward my house a green mini-van came careening at me and apparently it was Alexis’ mother who had parked WAYYYYY down the road to watch her daughter get on the bus because Alexis did not want her mother to accompany her to the stop for fear of embarassment.

So, yesterday when Paige’s bus arrived Paige gave me the normal half dozen hugs and kisses and professions of love and as I am walking off I see little Alexis lean in and sort of look at Paige funny and whisper something to her and then saw Paige grin and shake her head and smile at me and then they get on the bus.

So, last night I asked Paige what that was about. Apparently Alexis asked “Doesn’t your Mom embarass you when she does that?”

Silly child…Paige let her know that it is SHE that initiates these things. Paige is a regular snuggle bunny. She loves hugs and words of affection. She has a hug and kiss routine for farewells and bedtime. If she has met you, she has probably hugged you good-bye. Up until now, no one has challenged her thinking.

Breanna was done with hugs and kisses before she went to kindergarten. She recently started to allow me to hug her again and it has taken – oh, about a year – for me to get used to her WANTING hugs again. So, with that being said I have been appreciating Paige and yet waiting for my younger daughter to be anti-affection.

Let’s see how much influence little Alexis has on my Paige’s way of thinking.

Puddles-O-Poo On the Day Back to School

So today was expected to be a bit crazy in my house. The first day back to school we usually scramble. The kids and I are both used to sleeping in and so getting up at 5:45 am is always a shock to the system this time of year. HOWEVER, this year…it went very smooth. We were prepared, no one was grumpy all went well. Unfortunately, I think that our doberman, Scarlet, was feeling the anxiety for us.

I was awakened at 2:47 am by (of all things) a peculiar SMELL. My husband said that he had gotten up a short time prior and the dog had an accident and he was hoping it could wait to be cleaned up until morning. (OK, we have been through this before, he knows better…he REALLY likes his sleep) So, we both get up and as I round the foot of the bed, I step in something squishy. I demand he turn on the light and I look down and see a puddle/pile of dog vomit. Yum! So, as I am waiting for my husband to bring me something to clean off my foot I watch as my pathetic dog walks out of our room, into the living room and pukes on the floor. So, I hobble toward the hallway – only to see A LOT more puddles.

It ain’t dog vomit in that thar hallway.

Apparently the mess has multiplied since my husband originally was made aware of it. So, I rinse my foot, and grab supplies. Dave gets the hallway of poo, and I get puke duty. So, I clean what I can off the carpet in the bedroom – less than happy with the icky smell and stain left behind and I move on to the living room, and just as I am finishing with that pile I look over on the area rug and I see ANOTHER Puddle-O-Vomit.

Did I mention that this is at 2:47 AM?

So, I grab the rug and drag it down the part of the hallway that my hero hubby has already rid of Puddles-O-Poo and go back to clean the puddle left UNDER the rug…yes, boys and girls-it had seeped through. Once done, hubby takes the plastic bags filled with toxic waste out to the garbage and heaves the rug out the back door! (I will hose it down later)

I find a magical cure for my ailing bedroom carpet and apply it, grab the Oust spray and clean the air and hero hubby and I return to bed.

I can’t sleep. I have a freaking song in my head, and when I share this with my husband he states he has the same problem. Except mine is One Week by the Barenaked Ladies and his is Pink by Aerosmith. So I decide to read the NIV version of Proverbs 12 and finally get to sleep about 4 am (ish).

Back up at 5:45, just enough time for hero hubby to throw on clothes and be to work at 6am…and there, in the hallway is another Puddle-O-Poo. So, since my magical cure for the bedroom carpet seems to be working well, I figured I would try it out on a fresh Puddle. So, I sprinkle said magical cure all over this mess and go to wake my sleeping children.

As I am on my hands and knees I start to remember a speaker from the Leadership Summit, Carly Fiorina, stating “There is a gift in everything if only we will see it” and I think to myself “where is the gift in THIS Carly? Huh? Where is the gift in THIS?”

Finally I get to shower and I realize darn it, she is right. My gift is that I have found a great magical cure for cleaning vomit and poo, and I can share it with everyone. So, here is your flippin‘ gift:

You too can make quick clean up of vomit and poo….
With Arm & Hammer Baking soda. (or whatever brand you purchase)

Seriously, I COVERED the last pile of poo with baking soda and it killed most of the smell and turned the runny mess into something more “normal” and easier to handle. As for the vomit, same thing…trust me, I usually want to heave myself when faced with that and this does seem to make the smell diminish almost completely and again, a consistency easier to deal with. The trick is to COMPLETELY cover the mess, no sprinkling.

So, there ya have it. The first morning back to school in a nutshell.

A Milestone for Paige

To help explain, I am going to share with you from Dan Vukmirovich’s blog this excerpt:

“This weekend we will be asking people to cross the line of faith by walking through a doorway we have set up onstage. Pastor Mark Beeson, has evangelism flowing through his blood. It’s at the heart of GCC. He talks about a farming approach to evangelism where we plant seed, water, fertilize, and patiently wait for people to be ready and then we harvest. Rather than asking people to make a decision for Christ every week, we do it only 1-2 times per year. Part of his rationale in this is that most thinking people don’t make life changing decisions in 20 minutes. I agree.”

Paige walked through that doorway this weekend. I was happy and weepy and well, I was a mom. She asked me to walk up with her but when it came to going up on the stage, and crossing through the doorway…she chose to go without me, I waited at the bottom of the stairs…her decision…her walk…her journey.

She has already chosen her next step…Baptism. On September 9th she is going to be baptised, (this date is also mine and Dave’s wedding anniversary!) and when we registered her for the event there were questions for her to answer and I am going to share them with you:

What was your life like before you met Christ?:
Um, wow…I don’t know

How did you realize you needed Christ?:
By coming to church

How did you commit your life to Christ?:
Walking through the door

What difference has God made in your life since you’ve begun this relationship with Him?:
made me believe in something that I can not see but I still know is there