Conversations

I have had a couple of conversations over the past couple of weeks one was good and one was…well it was how I expected it. (I also had conversations about the conversations…quite the snowball effect.)

My good conversation was not a planned conversation. I did not go to work yesterday because the winter weather made it impossible to open my car doors. So, I called my dad to see how he was doing and one question led to a conversation that lasted 185 minutes and 25 seconds according to the counter on my phone. We talked about so many different things but key things like his health, mom’s health and job, possibly looking at moving out of their house, exercise, kids, parenting, ancestry. It was a good way to spend my morning. I love my Pops!

My other conversation:

I hesitate to blog about it. Still trying to find the words. I did not go about this conversation well. I called to offer to meet with this person and when I received voicemail I did not leave a message. So they called back (caller ID) at a time when I could not talk and was very curious about what I wanted and asked me to please follow up as soon as I could. Well, when I was able to talk I was not really READY. In reviewing it with Kathy she confirmed what I feared. It came out as a backhanded apology.

You see, over the past few years I have grown. I have changed and it was not that I was forcing the change, it was something God was doing. One thing that has continued to weigh heavy on my heart was this one particularly difficult relationship. One in which I held a great deal of resentment, hostility, animosity, sadness and regret about. The kicker…this person did not know I felt these things and the feelings have grown over the years and worsened. However, it was not this person’s fault. I have come to realize that I control how people treat me. I control how I feel about people. If I walk on eggshells around someone it is MY fault…not theirs. I may not agree with, or condone the things they do but it is not my job to judge them. If I see someone who I believe is miserable it is not my job to say “Hey, you are miserable.” If this person believed that they were miserable they would seek help. A wise person once told me “No one WANTS to be miserable. If they could change they would.” It is not for me to determine. Not only was I judging this person but I spoke poorly of this person in the past and I regret that. So in my attempt to apologize to this person, I also unloaded on this person the things that had been bothering me. This should have been two different conversations. Maybe. Maybe it should not have been a conversation at all and just a change in my behavior. In the end I got what I deserved…
Hung up on.

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Heath Ledger died! What the…???

I loved his roles in 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knights Tale and I am totally bummed – especially since I am finding out a DAY LATER!


I will always picture him like this ^ while hearing him singing “I LOVE YOU BABY! And if it’s quite alright I need you baby, to warm a lonely night, I love you baby, trust in me when I saaaaaay…….”

Here is the article regarding his passing: Newsday.com

The diaries

Book one for the year:

The Nanny Diaries

Fun book…but like many books I think the end was a bit rushed, certain books are supposed to leave you hanging and I get that but some books should really just tie the pieces together for you. This one should have tied it up. I smell a “sequel” (I could be wrong) but I don’t know that I would read it…

…who am I kidding, if I start a series I feel compelled to read all of it – it is a sickness I know.

Book two for the year:

The Heroin Diaries

Not for the faint of heart. Not a book you should have on your coffee table or bookshelf if you have young children in your home.

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS BOOK. Though I am not sure that “ENJOYED” is the right word. Reading about someone elses pain and addiction is not something that should be enjoyable. In this book I appreciate the candor, I admired the mind behind the madness. I enjoyed the light that was hiding in the darkness, and there is a God awful lot of darkness in this book but for some reason I ….well, I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. I never knew what went down “back in the day” (the late ’80s) other than that I loved the music of Motley Crue. I have never been a person to attend concerts so I was not witness to their antics…and after reading the book I am glad.

The book dedication reads:

“This book and journey is dedicated to all the alcoholics and drug addicts who have had the courage to face their demons and to pass on the message that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.”

An excerpt from the intro:

“These diaries start on Christmas Day 1986, but that day wasn’t even that special. I was an addict well before then, and stayed one for a while afterwards. Perhaps that day just brought my condition home to me. There is something about spending Christmas alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree gripping a shotgun, that lets you know your life is spinning dangerously outta control.”

This was a hard book to read at times, but I felt that if he is gonna risk it and put it out there…I can suffer through the words if he suffered through the pain. I am glad I did.

Books…The Year in Review

My top three books for the year are:

In the “SERIOUS” category

The Shack by William P. Young.

I read this one with my husband…the fact that he really enjoyed the book should make you run out and find a copy. Heck, the fact that he ACTUALLY read it speaks volumes. This book made me happy by painting a picture that was lurking in the back of my brain about who God is. It made me cry – rivers – when it dug into my heart. It is not your typical “Christian” book. I really can not tell you more without spoiling it.

I give it 5 stars plus a holla and a fist pump!

(hat tip to Dr. Bob Laurent for recommending the book)

In the “FREAKING HILARIOUS” category:

Lamb:The Gospel According to BifF, Christ’s Childhood Pal – by Christopher Moore

A friendship with Jesus like no other. See my previous review of this book HERE

In the “Non-Fiction” category:

Flashbang: How I Got Over Myself by Mark Steele

The humility combined with the great sense of humor of the author is what really kept me engaged. I love laughing while in pain…and this guy seemed to find the laughter within the pain

My biggest reading regret this past year was starting the Left Behind series. I enjoyed the first few books, maybe even the first half or two thirds. I have to admit that I have a sickness…if I start a series I have to finish it. So thirteen books of this was WAY too much and toward the end I really think they were redundant and then just grasping at straws – either that or I was on overload. Maybe if I had read them as they were released it would have been okay. Reading them all in a year…not suggested.

So during Winter Break of 2006 I started keeping track of the books I read. I have been very self indulgent in my reading this year. LOTS of fiction. Very little in the way of books on self improvement or spirituality or biographies – you get it…NON-fiction. So below is my list. The titles in italics are non-fiction. I have linked to my favorites of the year


December 2006

Wicked – Gregory Maguire
Brother Odd – Dean Koontz
Next – Michael Crichton
Ariel – Steven R. Boyett

January and February 2007

Tales From the Crib – Risa Green
You Suck! – Christopher Moore (the book has vampires in it)
I Feel Great (and you will too!) – Pat Croce
Plum Lovin‘ – Janet Evanovich
Left Behind – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Son of a Witch – Gregory Maguire
Tribulation Force – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

March 2007

Girls in Trouble – Caroline Leavitt
Nicolae – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Please, Stop Laughing At Me – Jodee Blanco

April 2007

Notes From the Underbelly – Risa Green
Soul Harvest – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Apollyon– Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Assasains – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

May 2007

Thanksgiving – Janet Ivanovich
The Indwelling – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
The Mark – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
A Dirty Job – Chris Moore
Grace (Eventually) – Anne Lamott

June 2007

Natural Born Charmer -Susan Elizabeth Phillps
Nineteen Minutes – Jodi Picoult
Anybody Out There? – Marian Keyes
Desecration – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
The Remnant – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

July 2007

The Stupidest Angel – Christopher Moore
Fluke, or I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings – Christopher Moore
Armageddon – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal – Christopher Moore

August / September 2007

Glorious Appearing – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Blue Coyote – Christopher Moore
Love Overboard – Janet Evanovich
Go, Discover Your Strengths – Marcus Buckingham

October 2007


Lean Mean Thirteen – Janet Evanovich
The Good Guy – Dean Koontz
Now, Put Your Strengths to Work – Marcus Buckingham

November 2007

Kingdom Come – Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Mirror Mirror – Gregory Maguire
The Tenth Circle – Jodi Picoult
Flashbang: How I got over myself – Mark Steele

December 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – J.K. Rowling
The Darkest Evening of the Year – Dean Koontz
The Shack – William P. Young

Books I am looking forward to finally reading in 2008:

Sex God – Rob Bell (own it and have started reading it)

Lost Women of the Bible – Carolyn Custis James (own it)

Cold Tangerines – Shauna Niequist (need to buy or borrow it)

Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand (own it)
Fountainhead – Ayn Rand (need to buy or borrow it)

Fearless Fourteen – Janet Evanovich
Plum Lucky – Janet Evanovich

I am certain there will be a new Dean Koontz novel. I always find something I enjoy in every novel even if I do not enjoy the novel in it’s entirety. The man is a writing machine and I wish he would revisit his characters from Fear Nothing and Seize the Night…the first book made you think there would be a second and the second made you think there would be a third and here it is years and several titles later and I am still wondering what the back story is for the character Sasha Goodall (Hey Dean, if your reading…I am begging you to finish this story line!)

My goal for this year is 52 books. Happy Reading!