Captain’s log – week 10

Today’s chronicle – car date 11.3.2010:

Bonzo: “It’s 7:11, let’s go to 7-11!”
(followed by an explanation of why she said that – apparently it dates back to her childhood)

Binky: “my friends and I do the 11:11 thing where you make a wish.”

The Captain: “I thought it was a prayer at 11:11”
Binky: “prayer, wish…whatever”
The Captain: “Just think about next year on 11/11/11 at 11:11”

Binky and Bonzo then go on about 12/12/12 at 12:12 and Bonzo says something about 2013 and then a bicker match occurs.


Binky: “you can’t do 13”
Bonzo: “yes you can if you use military time”
Binky: “but you can’t do 13
Bonzo….says something about military time again
Binky: “there is no 13th month”
Bonzo: (blah blah something unintelligble) “Listen young lady!”
Binky: “You can’t call me young lady!”
Bonzo: “I’m older than you”
Binky: “ Not in the way you…you…act. Besides, we are in the same grade so that makes you my PEER. Calling me ‘young lady’ is condescending!”

Oddly enough, Bonzo does not deny this accusation about the way she acts.  She OWNS IT!

A little bicker match happens regarding the difference in age and it went something like this:

Binky: “besides, you aren’t even a year older. You were born in April.”

Bonzo: “ummm yeah, I am a year plus older because I was BORN IN APRIL! I was a year old BEFORE you were born.”

Binky: “oh….yeah”

Once again…the ‘tuck and roll’ option reared it’s ugly head and at one point I had to make note that the van had come to a complete stop and they were therefore allowed to simply take it outside, and then the light changed to green. They were actually PRAYING for red lights on the way to school so they could “take it outside”

THEN…they decided that I needed a “code name” other than referring to myself as The Captain. Of course the one thing they could agree on was that it should be Captain plus some combination of THEIR code names. Binky wants “Captain Bonky” and Bonzo wants “Captain Bonko” but as you can CLEARLY see, I have chosen to remain simply The Captain. I win!

Then, my saving grace, the song that brought it all back to normal “Love Like Woe” by The Ready Set came on the radio. It might have been 2 notes into the music and Binky was all “TURN THIS UP! TURN THIS UP!” And like a good mom, knowing that it would bring the crazy to an end if they would simply SHUT UP AND SING… I obliged.

Sing us out The Ready Set!

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Captain’s log – week 9:

I have realized that for this (chronicling of the Binky and the Bonzo) to work, I am going to need some recording equipment.  These two fire off a conversation at mach speed!  I can hardly keep up!

I also realized that the girls are starting to settle in to the routine of high school.  This past week there were actually moments of silence in the car.  However my favorite part of the week was from Tuesday (October 26th), here are my notes from that day:

The B&B were fighting over me today.  First Binky disowned me (I cannot recall why) and then Bonzo claimed ownership of me and then they “fought” over owning me.  Someone was actually laying fingers on me as representation of ownership.  I think it was Bonzo.  I was feeling the love!  At one point Binky said “What!?! You wanna take this outside? Tuck and roll!  Tuck and roll!

note to reader: we were in a moving vehicle

at one point, the laughter became a threat to urinary continence – good thing we were close to the school!

The Chronicles of Binky and Bonzo

Every morning and most afternoons I have the privlege of transporting a couple of teenage girls to high school.  For the purpose of this blog, I will refer to them lovingly as Binky and Bonzo.  Back in the day, I used to blog the occasional CRAZINESS that was my drive time with Breanna (see posts under the category of Driving Miss Crazy).  I don’t know what this will look like.  I can only tell you that having two teen girls in the car is somewhat different than having one teen girl in the car.

Their personalities are different.  Not just from that of Miss Crazy but also from that of each other.  It creates some interesting, funny, intense, and odd conversation and also the occasional bickering match.  Always fascinating, occasionally frustrating.  Under it all, they love each other.    Over it all – THEY SING VERY LOUDLY and are convinced that Katy Perry is stalking them (not really, it is just that every time they get in the car, one of her songs comes on).

Topics in the past have included:

  • What to wear / what not to wear
  • The best thing of the day / the worst thing of the day
  • Waking up is awful
  • Boys
  • The upcoming <event of the day, week, or month>
  • Homework
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Group Therapy (U93 has this every Monday – I have called in and given my two cents)

For example:  When asked last week, how their day went…Bonzo stated “Disturbing” and when asked what it was she answered that she could not tell me because she was told something in confidence.  So, conversation continued to be cryptic and became at the least very concerning.  They were questioning whether or not something was even legal.  So I said…”Listen, you do not have to give me names just tell me what it is and I will let you know if it is legal or not.”

For the sake of privacy of this person, I will only tell you that it was ILLEGAL what this person had done and so I had to explain what it was and why it was illegal.  Teaching moments like this are what every parents dreams are made of.

Car rides with teens…never what you expect them to be.